Aap apni beti ki shaadi kab kar rahe ho?

A daughter is born and the family starts planning of saving for "gifts" (don't use the "D" word...its too passe! Besides, we are modern people who don't support societal taboos) for here marriage.

The girl grows up.She is sent to the same school as her brother.She is allowed to play with boys.She chooses to go to college.Not too far from home.A course is chosen for her to study further.its assessed not according to her interest but the time it will take to complete.Akhir shaadi bhi toh karni hai.Bas iski shaadi ho jaye toh hum bhi apni zimmedaari se mukt! 

By the time the girl is on the right side on 25, every relative who she didn't even know ,existed, starts to pop up.Everybody is worried about her marriage.Rishtas sare suggested by "wellwishers".Everybody jumps on the marriage bandwagon in full force.A little thing is forgotten, that she aspires to work after getting a degree.But its irrelevant.

***

A son is born.The family rejoices and starts planning about his future studies.Marriage will happen later.What do we have to worry about ji, apna toh baccha bada shona hai! And besides we know all this is investment that we will get back once he gets married.We will get lots of "gifts"(No, not the "D" word..modern and all of that) from the girls side.

The boy grows up as well.Is sent to college of his choice.Chooses the course to pursue further as per his interest.Whatever time it takes but achi degree hogi toh hi toh acchii naukri milegi, phir shaadi bhi toh achi ladki se hogi!


The guy is also now a twenty something.Has completed his studies.Started working.Plans for further studies.Marriage will happen eventually.But he needs to be independent first!

***

We love to preach that there is no difference between a girl and a boy.But these cases we see in almost every house.A boy's dreams are limitless.The girl can dream too.But only about prince charming sweeping her off her feet and a happily ever after.

Families are prepared to send the daughter for further education as long as she readily marries at the age they feel is appropriate.The moment one is "marriageable age",talks begin like its of national importance that the girl gets married right away.

I have heard a lot of talk about woman emancipation.But when i encounter such talks and see it happening in front of me, I think its all hogwash.The aspects of society pressure and family giving in are not unreal.It happens and even in the most educated home.

The nouns may have changed but the trend still exists.it may not be dowry anymore,its called gifts but the feeling is the same.A daughter is not a burden anymore, she is a responsibility.Families want to get done with the responsibility as soon as she is marriageable age.But at what cost?

Why should dreams be compromised by a woman only, in the name of family,society,husband,kids and in laws?

The same woman who, after becoming a mother, swears to not let the same thing happen to her daughter.

P.S : Preachy much? But i had to do it for me.I wrote this one for myself.